Please Take A Moment To Vote In the Current Jennifer Hudson Album Cover Poll... Thank You

The cover of former American Idol contestant/Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson's upcoming album has generated a bit of controversy since it was unveiled on July 10th 2008. A "source" says that the body in the album photo is actually Jennifer's. However, there are many who think that Ms. Hudson is the victim of the worst body makeover since a freelance artist infamously referenced a 1979 photo of Ann-Margret when he did an illustration of Oprah Winfrey for the cover of a 1989 issue of TV Guide.

If the album cover is an accurate representation of Jennifer Hudson, props to her. However, if the photo is courtesy of Photoshop, that's really unfortunate. Not only would a Photoshop scam undermine what's really important (the quality of the music on Jennifer's album), but it also reinforces the body image stereotypes that women have dealt with for years.

Thursday Thirteen #51: Dealing With Dial Up, Pop Culture Style

13 Things That Can Be Done In the Amount of Time It Takes A Page To Load Using Dial-Up

The past few days have been spent moving into my new digs. Since I had been offline for most of Monday, one of the first things I did at my new place was to set up my computer. When I was unable to get online, I called my ISP. The rep I spoke to explained that even though my phone number hadn't changed, I was having problems because my DSL hadn't been installed at my new address. He went on to say that the installation could take up to 15 business days! Upon hearing this, I went all Hannah/Miley on him and replied, "Earthlink rep say what?!" As a consolation (like the Turtle Wax they used to give to game show losers in the 70s and 80s), the rep added that in the meantime I would be able to use the free dial-up service. I don't mind partying like it's 1999, but trying to surf the Internet as if it was 9 years ago is not all that fun.

Everyday Internet activities that we take for granted (for example, viewing You Tube clips and listening to streaming audio) are next to impossible when using dial-up... unless you enjoy watching video/listening to audio in 3 second intervals. Instead of going George Carlin and invoking the Seven Dirty Words, I decided to get creative with my temporary misfortune. Below (in no particular order) are 13 pop culture-related things that could be done in the amount of time it takes a page to load using Internet dial-up service. Admittedly, some of these things you wouldn't want to do, but you get the point.

By the way, did you ever expect to see references to Hannah Montana and George Carlin in the same post?

1. Cook at least two bags of microwave popcorn (separately of course)












2. Play sides 1 AND 2 of a James Brown multi-part 45.











3. Endure the seemingly endless barrage of commercials and trailers before getting to the actual movie.















4. Sit and watch as a contestant on WWTBAM ponders a question. Get your ass out of that hot seat and give somebody else a chance!












5. Watch the PTI segment Five Good Minutes















6. Go into Andy Warhol mode and relive Kajagoogoo's brief moment of fame.












7. Listen to Greer Garson's Academy Award acceptance speech (which at about 7 1/2 minutes, is the longest in Oscar history)
















8. Get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop without taking a bite













9. Listen to the song Five Minutes of Funk by Whodini.
















10. Watch a Three Stooges short subject film












11. Sit through the speech that Steven Seagal delivers at the end of the 1994 film On Deadly Ground.















12. Pour a bottle of Heinz 57 ketchup from the roof of a building, run down several flights of stairs, order a hot dog, and have the Heinz 57 ketchup land on the hot dog.














13 . Watch the full-length version of the video for Thriller by Michael Jackson... woo hoo!















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Final Results of the Friends Poll

In a final result that surprised me, an overwhelming number of you felt that it would be a bad idea for a Friends movie to be made. Because it was highly successful during its 10 year run (its lowest season ending Nielsen ranking was #8 during the 1994-1995 season) and remains popular in syndication, I thought that the poll results would be the opposite of what they turned out to be. It's safe to assume that those who hated Friends or at best found the show OK would vote "bad idea". However, I wonder if those who loved the show also voted that way; figuring that 10 years was enough and that a big screen sequel would tarnish the rep of the sitcom.

Due to the enormous success of the Sex and the City movie, you could practically hear the internal cash register of every Warner Bros. exec "cha-chinging" in unison at the prospect of reuniting the Central Perk gang on the big screen. There have been conflicting reports as to whether or not there will be a Friends movie. Furthermore, the publicists for Courtney Cox and Matthew Perry have said that a Friends film is just a rumor. However, since Courtney's recent series is taking a Dirt nap and it's highly unlikely that Mr. Perry will bless us with The Whole Eleven Yards, I expect the two of them to sign on the dotted line (along with the other 4 Friends cast members) when the time comes.

Here are the final poll results:

Bad idea- 74%
Good idea- 25%

Today Is Embrace Your Geekness Day

After browsing through the 2006 edition of Chase's Calendar of Events, I learned that July 13th is Embrace Your Geekness Day. Amazingly, this is an actual copyrighted holiday created by Ruth and Tom Roy of Wellcat Holidays. So if you dig and I mean REALLY dig things like comic books, music, D&D, or fantasy sports, today is the day to let your geek flag fly.

There was a time when to most people, the word geek was a 4-letter word (both literally and figuratively). In the eyes of many, it conjured up images of pocket protectors, nose spray, and taped-up glasses. For the most part, that school of thought has gone the way of the Trapper Keeper. Nowadays, there are numerous people (me included) who view the term "geek" as a badge of honor. As part of the term's evolution, it now denotes anyone who possesses an uncommon skill and/or knowledge in a particular area. I know that this next statement will come as a shock to you all, but I consider myself a pop culture geek. However, depending on the situation, I may break it down into specifics (TV/classic movies, music, etc.).

One way in which the modern geek differs from the "Poindexter" stereotype is in the area of social interaction. Although we may be borderline obsessive about our passion(s), we don't allow it/them to overtake our lives. If you have a spouse or significant other who supports your geekdom, you can even make it pay off for you in unforeseen ways. Although it wasn't my intention, I wound up impressing a former girlfriend with various pop culture factoids. She would show her appreciation by locking lips with me. As a result, I came up with the term "geek kiss".

Do you consider yourself a modern geek? If so, what areas bring out the geekiness in you?

Please Take A Moment To Vote In the Current "Friends" Poll... Thank You

Chart Toppers: Rock Around the Clock

The following post is the first of a new feature called Chart Toppers. In these posts, I'll discuss a song/album that was #1 on one of the Billboard charts. It's only fitting to begin this feature with the song that launched the rock and roll era... "Rock Around the Clock" by Bill Haley and his Comets.

"Rock Around the Clock" was not the first rock and roll song (that's been a source of endless debate). It wasn't even the first rock and roll song to hit the Billboard pop chart (that honor goes to 1953's "Crazy Man Crazy", also by Bill Haley and his Comets). However, when "Rock Around the Clock" climbed to #1 on the Billboard chart on July 9th 1955, it signaled the beginning of the end of the Tin Pan Alley/Your Hit Parade era. Although there was no way to know it then, rock and roll was here to stay.

Considering the history of "Rock Around the Clock", it's amazing that it ever became a hit. When it was recorded in April 1954, it was just a throwaway B-side (the A-side was the nearly forgotten tune "Thirteen Women"). Not only that, but the final recording had to be ingeniously patched together by producer Milt Gabler from two unusable takes. This was done because the next session (featuring Sammy Davis Jr.) was due to start shortly. When DJs began to favor "Rock Around the Clock" over "Thirteen Women", it gained some popularity. However, it originally only peaked at #23 on the charts in the summer of 1954. As it stood, "Rock Around the Clock" was destined to be nothing but a faint malt shop memory. But not so fast...

In the fall of 1954, production began on the film Blackboard Jungle starring Glenn Ford and Sidney Poitier. While at the home of Glenn, one of the film's producers heard a record that belonged to Glenn's son Peter... "Rock Around the Clock". Later, when selecting a song that they could use over the credits of Blackboard Jungle, the producers chose "Rock Around the Clock". When kids heard the song blaring over the movie credits, they went wild. The song was re-released and quickly shot to the top of the charts. Recognizing a cash cow, Hollywood summoned Bill Haley and his Comets to Tinseltown where they filmed the 1956 quickie Rock Around the Clock (the first rock exploitation movie).

Another factor in the success of "Rock Around the Clock" is the guitar solo by Danny Cedrone. Although he wasn't a Comet, Cedrone was a well-regarded session player that Haley had used previously. His superb guitar solo on "Rock Around the Clock" is still one of my favorites and considered one of the greatest and most influential in rock history. Several guitarists (including Jimi Hendrix, Pete Townsend, and Brian Setzer) cited Cedrone's solo as an influence on their own work.

Sadly, Cedrone died at the age of 33 from a broken neck suffered during a fall shortly after the recording of "Rock Around the Clock" and never lived to see the song's success. Franny Beecher replaced Cedrone as Haley's session guitarist and soon became a Comet. Since there is no known footage of Cedrone performing with the Comets, Beecher is usually seen as the group's guitar player. There has been a push by members of Cedrone's family to get him inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in the "Sidemen" category. I say the honor is deserving and long overdue.

Although Bill Haley and his Comets had some hits after "Rock Around the Clock", they never matched that song's success. However, Haley (with various incarnations of the Comets) continued to record and tour all over the world. His last performance was in 1980; he died a year later of a heart attack at the age of 55. However, thanks to "Rock Around the Clock", his and the Comets' place in rock history is secure. According to Wikipedia, it's been said that the song is playing somewhere in the world every minute of the day.

Below is a clip of Bill Haley and his Comets performing their signature song on The Dick Clark Show, which aired on Saturday nights on ABC from 1958-1960. One of the sponsors of the show was Beechnut Gum (notice the shots of the kids in the audience doing some serious chewing).

Thursday Thirteen #50: Arcade Flashback

Thirteen Video Games That I Played As A Kid

Before adulthood and it side effects (bills, bills, and more bills) set in, one of my main concerns was making sure I stretched my allowance until I got paid again by Mom Inc. A good part of that coinage went towards video games and thus helped to put the kids of Midway's employees through college. Below, in alphabetical order, are 13 video arcade games that I played back in the 1980s. Dig those state-of-the-art, cutting edge graphics in the screenshots below!

Feel free to talk about your favorite video game(s) in the comments section.

1. Asteroids- Because I sucked at this game, I didn't play it as much as some of the others.

2. Berzerk- Who wouldn't want to be a humanoid with the ability to blow robots to smithereens? Until I went to Wikipedia, I had forgotten all about the main nemesis of Berzerk... the bouncing smiley face known as Evil Otto.

3. Centipede- Whenever I think of this game, I am reminded of Michael Jackson's older sister Rebbie's hit of the same name (even though the song has nothing to do with the video game).

4. Donkey Kong- I never quite got the mastery of this one down. Avoiding the oil barrels tossed by DK and those damn flaming balls were a bitch!

5. Frogger- Another one that I dumped alot of quarters into as a teen. Although I was no George Costanza, I held my own OK.

6. Galaga- This was my all-time favorite game. Me and my friends eventually learned how to fix it so that the aliens couldn't fire back at you. A few years later while living in Marquette, I was with my then girlfriend at the campus rec center. Because of the trick I learned earlier, I had been playing for about 3 hours. I finally gave my game to a kid who came over to watch. Because the aliens weren't firing at me, he gave me a "what the fuck" look. I told them that I beat them so badly, they gave up and stopped shooting. I wonder if he went back and told his friends the "secret".

7. Galaxian- This was similar to Space Invaders, but had the added danger of the aliens making periodic kamikaze-like dives at your ship.














8. Gorf- This was sort of like Midway's Greatest Hits because it combined elements of games such as Space Invaders and Galaxian. I was only OK on the arcade version. However, because I had more time to waste... er practice, I got pretty good at the version we had on the Commodore Vic 20. Achieving the highest rank of Space Avenger was a crowning achievement in my video game career.












9. Ms. Pac Man- I didn't play this one as much as Pac Man. Maybe I felt the design was a little too girly.

10. Pac Man- This was one of the first games where I actually demonstrated some skill. I remember a friend had one of those books that had different patterns to help you avoid the ghosts/monsters.














11. Pole Position- The first job I ever had was working one summer as one of my older brother's assistants when he was a Community School Director. During lunch time, I would go to the nearby arcade and play Pole Position quite a bit. This was back when I actually thought that driving was fun.













12. Space Invaders- My introduction to arcade games. I was far from an ace at this one. Had Space Invaders given out ranks, I probably would have been a Space Captain... barely.

13. Stargate- This was a sequel to Defender. Just like it's predecessor, Stargate had a shitload of buttons. I remember once that a kid was playing at the neighborhood grocery store. He was hitting one of the buttons frantically, wondering why it wouldn't fire. I had to break the news to him that he was hitting the "Player One" button.












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Tuesday Tunes - Week 40: Word Association

Tuesday Tunes - Week 40

You know the drill, name the first musical thing (i.e. artist/song/album etc.) that comes to mind when you see these words:

peace: Give Peace A Chance by The Plastic Ono Band

love: All You Need Is Love by The Beatles

sign: Sign 'O' the Times by Prince

summer: Here Comes Summer by The Dave Clark Five

trip: Windy by The Association (Who's tripping down the streets of the city?)

book: My Little Red Book by Love

drug: Love Is the Drug by Roxy Music

simple: Sing A Simple Song by Sly and the Family Stone

psychedelic: The Doors (before forming The Doors, Robby Krieger and John Densmore were in a band called the Psychedelic Rangers

70s: The Super Hits of the 70s: Have A Nice Day series of compilation albums

Susan Olsen: The Youngest One Who Hurls

While on my Internet surfboard late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, I saw a link that said "A Very Brady Hangover". The link led me to a story that the Fox News Channel did about Susan Olsen's recent appearance on Denver radio station KDZA-FM 107.9. Apparently, the former Cindy Brady got her drink on with local comedian Chris "Crazy Legs" Fonseca the night before and had a little bit of trouble pulling her packages together for the interview. At about the 1 minute and 40 second mark, she starts to struggle and shortly thereafter cuts the interview short. Sitting in front of Susan was what appeared to be a bottle of pop. If it was just pop in the bottle, that was a big mistake. One thing I remember from my early 20s is to neeeever drink pop the morning after a night of elbow bending. What Susan needed to do is find Tiger (aka the Kitty Karry-All thief) because you know what's been said to be a cure for hangovers.

Note: At the 2:27 mark of the clip below, Susan invited listeners to come out to a local bar to see her and Fonseca. Her 12 yr old son Michael then interjects that people can "Watch her drink like a pig!" Before anyone gets ready to turn the kid over to the idiomatic police, cut him some slack; he was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome a few years ago.

Retro Commercial: Faygo Pop

As a kid, I have fond memories of roller skating, playing tag, and Frisbee. To quench my thirst, the beverage of choice was often Michigan-based Faygo Pop. It sometimes felt as if I drank enough of the liquid confection to fill Lake Superior. If a cop had ever given me a Breathalizer, my blood Faygo content probably would have read .25%.

Since we are fast approaching the 4th of July weekend, I thought that this classic 1970s commercial for Faygo Pop would be retro perfection. Featuring Harold Peary (The Great Gildersleeve) leading a boatload of passengers in a nostalgic sing-a-long, this commercial was a staple of Michigan television during the decade of bell bottoms, Benji, and Barry White. Even if you've never seen this commercial, it's bound to conjure up childhood memories and take you back to a time when your biggest worry was having to explain to your mother how you ripped a hole in your brand new pair of Toughskins. For more information on Faygo, please click here.