Thursday, February 14, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #32: Unlovable Quotes by TV Couples

Thirteen Unlovable Quotes by TV Couples

Since Thursday is Valentine's Day, we have been inundated with hearts and flowers, etc. As a result, I thought it would be fun to show the flip side by sharing some zingers between 13 TV couples.

1. Al and Peg Bundy (Married... With Children)

: Did you miss me?
Al: With every bullet, so far.

2. Archie and Edith Bunker (All In the Family)

: Do you know how old I am today?
Archie: Yeah, you're 50. I got a very romantic way of remembering that: you are as old as Lindbergh's airplane.

3. Bill and Judy Miller (Still Standing)

: Don't you think there's a little double-standard there?
Bill: Not at all. I have one standard for Brian and another different standard for Lauren. That way, they each get their own.
Judy: I was gonna say that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but I wanna wait to hear what you have to say next.

4. Chris Turk and Carla Espinosa (Scrubs)

[Turk is trying to help J.D. brake up with Danni]
Chris Turk: Dude, with Danni you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize. Focus in on how great it is to be single! Chasing tail! Hell, I miss it every day.
Carla: Oh, you don't care if you ever have sex again, do you?

5. J.R. and Sue Ellen Ewing (Dallas)

JR Ewing
: [to Sue Ellen] Don't flatter yourself, honey. You're just another Ewing possession. Like an oil lease, you're easily disposable.

6. Jim and Cheryl (According To Jim) note: the couple's surname has never been given

: [on Jim's behavior] He's brilliant. He's pretending to be a moron to cover up being a jackass.

7. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy)

Ricky Ricardo
: This whole thing is my fault. Something I said that started this whole mess.
Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
Ricky Ricardo: "I do."

8. Maude and Walter Findlay (Maude)

Walter Findlay
: People communicate only when they are being themselves. One does not get through to someone by being something other than what one is.
Maude Findlay: That's a lovely speech, Walter, very lovely. Remind me when we have time, to record it on tape so I can accidentally erase it.

9. Michael Kelso and Jackie Burkhardt (That 70s Show)

Michael Kelso
: I miss Eric.
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, you still have me.
Michael Kelso: It's not the same, Jackie. I can talk to Eric about things that I can't talk about with you.
Jackie Burkhardt: Okay, well like what?
Michael Kelso: Well, for instance, the annoying things you do.
Jackie Burkhardt: Michael.
Michael Kelso: See, I can't talk to you.

10. Ralph and Alice Kramden (The Honeymooners)

: What do you know about fishing? When have you ever caught anything?
Alice: Fifteen years ago. I caught 300 pounds of blubber.

11. Ray and Debra Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)

Debra Barone
(to Ray): You know what, I'm tired! Could you just call yourself an idiot?

12. Sam Malone and Diane Chambers (Cheers)

: Carla's trying to become the kind of waitress you would enjoy being waited on by.
Diane: "Being waited on by"? You just ended that sentence with two prepositions.
Sam: Haven't you got customers to be waiting on?
Diane: You ended that sentence with a preposition.
Sam: Haven't you got customers to be waiting on, MULLET-HEAD?

13. Stanley and Helen Roper (Three's Company)

[to Helen]
Stanley Roper: You know, it's a shame you don't live in India. You'd be sacred there.

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pjazzypar said...

I love the list, especially J. R. and Maude's comments. I still remember the show in which Maude made that comment. Thanks for reminding me of how funny classic humor can be. I wish Maude was on DVD.

Chuck said...

That was a blast - thx for the giggle!! Happy VDay/TT. *hugs*

Holly Smith said...

You'll probably think I'm lying, but I wanted to name my baby brother Stanley after watching Three's Company. I thought he was so funny (I had no sense at four years old).

I LOVED the show Still Standing, does it still come on reruns?

My favorite quote from this list was the Cheryl's line to Jim...

Chris and my mom both love watching Married with Children but I hate it with a passion.
Fun list!

SJ Reidhead said...

I am impressed, esp the J. R. quote.

The Pink Flamingo

Nicholas said...

How nice to be reminded of MAude. That was a wonderful show.

I gave up watching Scrubs because I found the Carla so obnoxious I couldn't take any more of her.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Hey I remember some of these like I Love Lucy, All in the Family and Maude. Yeah. Great job. Have a great TT and Valentine's Day. :)

Jill said...

#7, 11 and 13 are my favorites! Very Funny!

Adelle said...

I loved the Bunkers, Bundy's, Lucy... What a blast from the past.Thanks! Happy Valentine's Day!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I think the old shows were the best -- Lucy, Maude, All in the Family. And yes, even Cheers.

Maybe it's just that I don't watch much TV anymore and I'm missing out on quality. Dunno.

Mama Kelly said...

Great list ... got a few chuckles out of it which is always a good thing.

mama kelly

ellen b. said...

yikes! Can this be "love, twoo love" ..
Happy TT!

Sandy Carlson said...

Ricky Ricardo could be merciless! These are great reminders of what used to be my regular diet of TV!

Malcolm said...

Pjazzy: It was just wrong the way J.R. treated Sue Ellen. She would have done anything for that bastard, lol. Good news... the first season of "Maude" is available on DVD. It came out last year.

Chuck: I am glad you enjoyed it.

Holly: No, I believe you. Now if you try to tell me that your brother's name is Ralph, I'm not going for that.

When I remember to, I catch reruns of "Still Standing" on Lifetime after work. I think Lifetime temporarily changed their schedule because of Valentine's Day, but "Still Standing" normally comes on at 10 am and from 7 pm to 8pm EST.

Some people scoff at me, but I am a fan of "According To Jim".

SJ: At it's peak in the early 80s, it didn't get much better than "Dallas". To this day, J.R. is one of my favorite TV characters.

Nicholas: I wish that TV Land or somebody else would bring back reruns of "Maude". One of my favorite catchphrases is "God'll get you for that".

Sandee: Although you no longer watch TV, I figured that you would remember some of the earlier shows. Thanks for stopping by.

Jill: I love it when Ray does or says something stupid (which is at least once an episode) and has that look on his face when Debra is about to tear into him. Sometimes I did feel that she needed to cut him a little more slack though, because she used to be on his ass!

Adelle: I still think that "Married With Children" is one of the funniest sitcoms ever. I used to watch it regularly when it aired Sunday nights on FOX.

Susan: Although I agree with you in your comments about the older shows you mentioned, there is some pretty good stuff these days too. Because we have so many options, it can be hard to sift through and find the quality. I know there is a lot that I am missing out on... but there is no way I could keep up.

Mama Kelly: I try to make my TTs as entertaining as possible. I'm glad that this made you laugh.

Ellen: Yes it can. Think of it as love juice, spiked with battery acid.

Sandy: Because of Lucy and Ethel's foolishness, it's easy for me to forget about the comic talents of Desi Arnaz.

The Gal Herself said...

I always love walking down memory lane with JR and Sue Ellen. But #12 actually, literally, made me laugh out loud. Sam and Diane were a riot. (Thanks for visiting my TT)

Journeywoman said...

GREAT list.

Now I would have added a Moonlight quote.

David: Now there I was sitting in bed and thinking.
Maddie: Imagine you, sitting and thinking.
David: When it hit me!
Maddie: Left a bruise I hope.

DrillerAA said...

Great quotes. You could do a T13 from any one of these shows.

Dane Bramage said...

Peg and Al were my favorites. Although I think Ricky had the best line in the list.

Thanks for visiting my Thursday Thirteen #67 13 (Not So) Romantic Tips

tasha said...

Thanks for the giggle! I love Scrubs and According to Jim -- great relationship advice in those shows, no wait, there's not, ha! Happy TT!

jehara said...

thanks for something different besides candy hearts and red roses. these quotations are awesome.

Lara Angelina said...

this was just so great! I loved Maude. The stuff that came out of her mouth was priceless even 30 years ago!!
Fantastic TT!! Thanks!

Natalie said...

I love this list! :)

SlipOfAGirl said...

I love Maude! Cheryl's was probably the funniest though, simply because I've thought it plenty of times ;)

Happy TT -- I'm up at both my blogs :D

Pop Tart said...

Clever post idea -- I'd copy it, but I'm likely to even paraphrase wrong lol

Happy TT :)

Sandy Feet said...

Very funny batch. They just make you flinch. I remember my "Dallas"-viewing days fondly.

Wendy said...

I used to spend every Sunday evening at my sister's to watch tv with her, starting with Married... and ending with In Living Color. That was a good night of comedy.

Maude rocked. Period.

Three's Company never should've spun the Ropers off to their own show. They worked best as the old offset to everyone else's young. And they were a lot better than Don Knotts.

Watching The Honeymooners was like watching my own parents, and not just because my father looked lke Jackie Gleason. I miss that show.

Thanks Malcolm, this was a great flip-side to Valentine's.

Sharon said...

Clever. I always enjoy your posts. :)

I remember especially that Raymond one. Hilarious. Miss that show.

The Scrubs one is something I'd probably say. I'll have to remember that. lol

Happy Valentine's Day!

Darla said...

These are hilarious! Thanks for reminding me of some fun shows!

Anonymous said...

Those were great man. Thank you!

I love the Honeymooners quote. So good.

Joyismygoal said...

wickedly funny i love them but could never say them:>

OneLuvGurl said...

I love it! Especially the last one! lol!

My TT is 13 love songs that you can listen to in the post. Happy TT & Valentine's!

Robin said...

Some real classics in there. I wish All In The Family would go back on reruns here in Israel.

Lori said...

I love this! It's great to sit at your cpu and crack up. Thanks for the giggles.

Lucy and Desi were my favorites. My husband calls me Lucy all the time...I pretend it's a compliment. ;-)

Karina said...

HA!!!! GReat list, I laughed beginning to end. (Does that make me evil?) ;-)

Xakara said...

You just pointed out why I was so confused by tv relationships when I was younger. I didn't understand why any of those folks were still together. And with shows like Everybody Loves Raymond and Still Standing, I'd still be confused if I was a kid today.

All that aside, you brought some great shows to mind. I may have been too young to understand everything going on but I loved Maude and appreciated All in the Family.

Happy V'day/TT

~Xakara <----Please use this link

Moondancer said...

These cracked me up. I remember most of these show...showing my age again.

DoubleDeckerBusGuy said...

Egads! You mean my favourite "funny line" was stolen from "Married... With Children"

When someone says, "Did you miss me?"

I almost always respond with, "Yeah, but my aim is improving..."

Also, here's one from my mother...

Her and my dad were celebrating a Valentines Day at the theatre... and on the drive home, according to my mom, my dad got a kind of glazed look in his face. My mom asked him, "What's wrong?" and my father replied, "I just realised that we're middle-aged." My mother laughed as they were both 47 and said, "How many 94 year olds do YOU know?"

Nicole Austin said...

LOL! Great list! Thanks for the laugh. Happy Valentine's Day!

Scout said...

Very nice list, Malcolm.

I am not familiar with most of those TV shows but I do remember the I Love Lucy episode with that Ricky comment.

X. Dell said...

I love all of these.

Vixen said...

Those are all really hysterical. Number 3 is my favorite though. I love that show.

Malcolm said...

The Gal Herself: J.R. and Sue Ellen definitely had a complex relationship. Back when the show was at its peak, I bought a book that gave bios of the characters. Although it helped to explain why J.R. was the way he was, it didn't excuse it.

Journeywoman: I really enjoyed the "Moonlighting" quote. I still think that the decline of "Moonlighting" was such a shame because it was once one of the best series on TV.

Drilleraa: You are right. I don't know if you saw it, but I did a TT on "Dallas" quotes a few months ago. I think I would get the most pleasure out of doing TTs on quotes from "Scrubs" and "Cheers".

Dane: I think that both Ed O'Neill and Katey Sagal put in work that was at least worthy of Emmy nominations.

Tasha: I am looking forward to seeing how they wrap up "Scrubs" for this, its final season. I have a feeling that Dr. Perry Cox will finally call J.D. Dr. Dorian instead of some female name. But knowing "Scrubs", they may not go for the obvious.

Jehara: Thanks for the props. Although the candy hearts, roses, etc. was fine for some, I had to go in the opposite direction.

Lara: I love Bea Arthur. The digs that she would get in on husband Walter, neirhbor Arthur, etc. were the best.

Slip of A Girl: I liked the Cheryl quote too. Not only is it funny, but so true because Jim does say/do some idiotic things.

Pop Tart: Thanks, I am glad you enjoyed it.

Sandy Feet: In regards to "Dallas", I was right there with you. Every Friday nights sandwiched in between "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Falcon Crest".

Wendy: Thanks for stopping by and for the kind words.

I still rave about the lineup that FOX had on Sundays in the early 90s. Along with the two you mentioned, I also watched "The Simpsons", "ROC", and "Herman's Head".

Career-wise for Norman Fell (Stanley) and Audra Lindley (Helen), it was a bad move for them to get spun off into their own show. However, I think it was good for "Three's Company" because their whole schtick (she wants sex, he doesn't) would have gotten old had they stayed for the entire run of the series. Alhtough I liked them, I was more of a Ralph Furley fan.

Sharon: Happy belated Valentine's Day to you. I am glad to hear that you enjoy my posts. It's props like that which make blogging all worthwhile for me.

Turk kills me because he will say some of the stupidest things and be oblivious to the fact that Carla is standing right there.

Darla: You are quite welcome.

Michael T: Alice was perfect for Ralph because she had a way of bringing him back to earth with her putdowns.

Joyismygoal: Sure, you could say them. If somebody calls you on it, just borrow Flip Wilson's line (The Devil Made Me Do It) :-)

OneLuvGurl: When reading the Stanley Roper quote, I can picture him looking into the camera and smiling like he used to do whenever he would hurl a zinger at Helen.

Robin: I keep forgetting that you live in Israel. Before I finished reading your sentence I was thinking, "All In the Family" still comes on TV Land.

Lori: Putting a positive spin on your husband referring to you as Lucy is wise. Who knows, he could think that you are a comic genius.

Karina: I laughed too when I was putting this together. I don't know, but we both may need to make sure our handbaskets can handle extreme heat.

Xakara: I occas. tuned in to both AITF and Maude when I was a little kid. Naturally, I didn't fully appreciate/understand their humor until I was older.

Moondancer: You can just lie and say that you first saw them in reruns. :-)

Doubledeckersbusguy: When Al replied "With every bullet so far", Peg had a snappy comeback... something about firing blanks (I think in reference to his sexual prowess, or lack thereof). I wish (the source I used for these quotes) had included it on their site.

Your mother's retort regarding middle age was right on the money.

Scout: Although I was never a big fan, I occas. watch "I Love Lucy". Having said that, I feel like I have seen most of the episodes because it has never left the airwaves.

X. Dell: Glad to hear it.

Malcolm said...

Vixen: I remember seeing that episode of "Still Standing" not too long ago. I watch it on a semi-regular basis on Lifetime in the evenings.

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