Since Thursday is Valentine's Day, we have been inundated with hearts and flowers, etc. As a result, I thought it would be fun to show the flip side by sharing some zingers between 13 TV couples.
1. Al and Peg Bundy (Married... With Children)
Peggy: Did you miss me?
Al: With every bullet, so far.
2. Archie and Edith Bunker (All In the Family)
Edith: Do you know how old I am today?
Archie: Yeah, you're 50. I got a very romantic way of remembering that: you are as old as Lindbergh's airplane.
3. Bill and Judy Miller (Still Standing)
Judy: Don't you think there's a little double-standard there?
Bill: Not at all. I have one standard for Brian and another different standard for Lauren. That way, they each get their own.
Judy: I was gonna say that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but I wanna wait to hear what you have to say next.
4. Chris Turk and Carla Espinosa (Scrubs)
[Turk is trying to help J.D. brake up with Danni]
Chris Turk: Dude, with Danni you just gotta keep your eyes on the prize. Focus in on how great it is to be single! Chasing tail! Hell, I miss it every day.
Carla: Oh, you don't care if you ever have sex again, do you?
5. J.R. and Sue Ellen Ewing (Dallas)
JR Ewing: [to Sue Ellen] Don't flatter yourself, honey. You're just another Ewing possession. Like an oil lease, you're easily disposable.
6. Jim and Cheryl (According To Jim) note: the couple's surname has never been given
Cheryl: [on Jim's behavior] He's brilliant. He's pretending to be a moron to cover up being a jackass.
7. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo (I Love Lucy)
Ricky Ricardo: This whole thing is my fault. Something I said that started this whole mess.
Lucy Ricardo: What's that?
Ricky Ricardo: "I do."
8. Maude and Walter Findlay (Maude)
Walter Findlay: People communicate only when they are being themselves. One does not get through to someone by being something other than what one is.
Maude Findlay: That's a lovely speech, Walter, very lovely. Remind me when we have time, to record it on tape so I can accidentally erase it.
9. Michael Kelso and Jackie Burkhardt (That 70s Show)
Michael Kelso: I miss Eric.
Jackie Burkhardt: Well, you still have me.
Michael Kelso: It's not the same, Jackie. I can talk to Eric about things that I can't talk about with you.
Jackie Burkhardt: Okay, well like what?
Michael Kelso: Well, for instance, the annoying things you do.
Jackie Burkhardt: Michael.
Michael Kelso: See, I can't talk to you.
10. Ralph and Alice Kramden (The Honeymooners)
Ralph: What do you know about fishing? When have you ever caught anything?
Alice: Fifteen years ago. I caught 300 pounds of blubber.
11. Ray and Debra Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Debra Barone (to Ray): You know what, I'm tired! Could you just call yourself an idiot?
12. Sam Malone and Diane Chambers (Cheers)
Sam: Carla's trying to become the kind of waitress you would enjoy being waited on by.
Diane: "Being waited on by"? You just ended that sentence with two prepositions.
Sam: Haven't you got customers to be waiting on?
Diane: You ended that sentence with a preposition.
Sam: Haven't you got customers to be waiting on, MULLET-HEAD?
13. Stanley and Helen Roper (Three's Company)
Stanley Roper: You know, it's a shame you don't live in India. You'd be sacred there.
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